Bird Droppings November 6, 2009
Is age a point of maturity

“Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it, and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.” Ann Landers

Since the beginning of my returning to teaching nearly nine years ago this has been an issue. Several of my students are not mature in any way; others see their antics and immediately comment “you are so immature”. It has become nearly a joke each day with some students. Of course I don’t help doing my Mr. Rodgers act as I start class on some days. I used to listen to his show while my own kids watched and as many times as he was spoofed on Saturday Night Live he was awarded by various children’s group for his impact on kids.

“Ok children lets talk about acting like children. Well of course you are all children” now you have to do this in a Mr. Rodgers voice as well for effect

I go on till my really redneck buddy in class will declare that Mr. Bird has lost it again. But as I look at Anne Landers definition of maturity, it is not about being silly or joking around or acting like Mr. Rodgers. Three items make up the case for maturity.

“I believe the sign of maturity is accepting deferred gratification.” Peggy Cahn

“Maturity is often more absurd than youth and very frequently is most unjust to youth.” Thomas A. Edison

“Maturity is the capacity to endure uncertainty.” John Huston Finley

Looking at how others define or shape the idea of maturity often opens doors to other ideas or concepts, such as deferred gratification, able to endure uncertainty and interestingly enough, I have seen children who can do this in both cases. Edison often has a good grasp on reality “maturity is more absurd than youth”. I was talking with several students yesterday about relationships and what makes a friend, interesting answers for children, all dealt with relationships between people except for one fellow who wanted to be friends with his car, and that is whole other issue.

“If boyhood and youth are but vanity, must it not be our ambition to become men?” Vincent Van Gogh

“Maturity is knowing when to be immature.” Randall Hall

Is timing an aspect of maturity? I am sure if someone came in while I am Mr. Rodgers in class they would assume that I was one immature teacher. Right now I may have the lead in immaturity for some.

“Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.” John Macnaighton

“True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriend’s boyfriends, and he accepts it.” Larry McMurtry

I fond this as an interesting comparison as I read. On one hand maturity is a sense of self and understanding and again age as a factor in looking at how people respond to you. Maybe gray hair adds maturity. But then I think of comedian Steve Martin who has always had gray hair.

“Maturity consists in no longer being taken in by oneself.” Kajetan Von Schlaggenberg

“One does not get better but different and older and that is always a pleasure.” Gertrude Stein

Many look at maturity as that escape or break from self centeredness or from selfishness. There are many immature people in the world if that is the case, “different and older” an easy suggestion and one that is easy to except. Life does get different as we move along our journey. Often our rational for doing something changes as we get older. As children we tend to survive, as adults often it is our children’s survival we think of and that shift from self to others is a significant aspect of maturity. It may be friends or family, I keep thinking back to conversations with various students’ parents over the years. About four years ago in a meeting a father told me he would allow his daughter to miss school all week to make a point, on responsibility. In another meeting a father who in a parent conference made the statement, “The reason I can not get a job is because Mexicans work to hard”.
I sit back take notes and wonder ok we have problems with these kids and we wonder if there are other factors, outside of school maybe just maybe the antecedents for the behaviors are from home and or in that sixteen hours the kids are not in school.

“Judge not others; judge only yourself. What appear to be faults in others may actually be reflections of our own emotional afflictions.” Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey

“Selfishness may be sweet only for oneself, but no harmony of the whole can come from it.” Tenrikyo Osashizu

From ancient teachings often little bits and pieces of wisdom, both of these come from Zen teachings and Buddhism from several thousands of years ago. This idea of self centeredness as a focal point of immaturity has been a round for a long time. As I am listening to conversations in the hallways so often the students complain about the very things that they see in themselves. I love it when students complain about gossiping of others as they gossip themselves she said, and he said or she said.

“Dare to err and to dream. Deep meaning often lies in childish plays.” Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

“I am a part of all that I have met.” Lord Alfred Tennyson

“The mountains, rivers, earth, grasses, trees, and forests are always emanating a subtle, precious light, day and night, always emanating a subtle, precious sound, demonstrating and expounding to all people the unsurpassed ultimate truth.” Yuan- Sou

Chronological age is not the issue. As I think immaturity is a point of awareness of whom and where you are in the scheme of things in life. Does the world revolve around you or are you simply a piece in the puzzle of life. Trying to put a finger on that point where one becomes mature is difficult. It is far easier to say a horse is mature when that animal becomes reproductively sound and can procreate. With humans that may never happen, and many happen sadly when they are not mature far too often. There also are many parents who should have never procreated. That is of course my opinion.
I used to think that and even joke about it as I tried to figure out what to do with a particular student or students. But you know what, had it not been for some of those students many ideas and thoughts that have lead me to today would have never happened. It is those very situations and issues that mold and make us who we are. I would like to share a short note from a dear friend in Pennsylvania I received many years ago. She was at that time an assistant pastor in a church in Wilmington, Delaware. This was in reference to my thoughts in a Bird Dropping on friendship but it is as applicable today as then. This came from her heart thinking about her friend who helped her as she sat by her son’s bedside as he lay dying from a serious illness.

“I love to come home from work, (I clean my church), on an autumn afternoon, put my feet up, and enjoy the sun’s last blaze of glory for that day. Ovals of colored glass, amethyst, amber, and azure, etched with celestial figures, hang in my window facing to the west. Shimmering, as if delighted to be touched by the warm light, the angels fly their colors across my room to take as their partners, crystal dishes, reindeer and angels, patently waiting the last dance of the day. The soft light pine of the china cupboard soaks in the light, gleaming with pride to be housing such an orchestra of color. Gifts from a dear friend, the glass angels remind me of the light she has brought into my life, especially on dark days. I read somewhere that we humans are angels with one wing; to fly we must embrace one another. The light that comes in my window knows.” Rev. Beth Engel

A new morning as the moon was peeking through the sparse clouds in my back yard earlier as I took one dog out. My oldest dog was snoring on our bed and of course as every morning follows me upstairs as I write although I do think it is more the leftover Cherrios in my bowl and a bit of milk he comes for. Today is a day to view carefully our place in life, how mature or immature are we really and please keep all in harms way on your mind and in your heart.
namaste
bird