Bird Droppings February 16, 2011
Sitting a bit with my grand daughter

It has been some time since I was alone at home. My sons have all gone about their own business, be it school, marriage, work and or combinations of the three. Seems recently I am home alone although any more home alone means with Charlie my grand daughter, babysitting. Yesterday had been an interesting day taking my mother to the doctors and running errands with her. I went home for lunch and grabbed a sandwich and all through the day listening to conversations about various assundery things. I am sitting here this morning cleaning up my room at school, cleaning out aquariums and vacuuming up bits and pieces of a semester under way. I have a part of a week of writing ahead to get started on so hopefully as the day progresses I will be under way. Our dog decided to do another early morning jaunt and maybe she will let me sleep in peace tonight and not be up at every hour on the hour needing to go out. Although around three this morning the cloud cover was translucent with a nearly full moon beaming through.
It has been a while since I wrote about or talked about the song, Cats in the Cradle, by Sandy and Harry Chapin. Walking around the house holding my grand daughter had me thinking of this song from a truly great singer song writer. I recalled an email from a dear friend who responded many years ago to a note I wrote about this song.

“Never really knew the words or the message of the “Cats in the cradle”. Sad that some parents do their decision making based upon their own personal needs, not seeing how it will affect their babies for the long term. The song is a perfect example of the saying “what goes around, comes around” Marie Rissell

In an editorial from our local paper a comment was made about teachers and how in today’s world teachers no longer teach. They have to spend too much time being surrogate parents, psychologists, counselors, friends, family, and if there is a spare moment teach a bit. What an interesting thought as I ponder this morning. I watched one of the Harry Potter films just the other day always seems a movie is playing at home now days when my son and daughter in law are home. My middle son is a proud daddy and daughter Charlie has sort of taken over the house and everyone’s hearts. I observe how my grand daughter is treated by each of us all taking part in changing diapers, talking too, playing with and always someone is holding her close.

“My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home dad?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then”
Words and Music by Harry and Sandy Chapin

I remember as if it were yesterday the birth of our first son. The changes were many that this brought about in our household. My wife and I had heard Happy Chapin in concert several times and we knew this song by heart along with so many more wonderful tunes. But as I walked around the house showing Charlie the kitchen, dining room, living room and hallway talking to her as I went with an occasional smile or bubble from her, her latest trick, I do not think she will ever be asking “when you coming home dad” as I watch my son play with her hold and rock her each day.
Earlier this morning as I looked through Yahoo news an article caught my attention dealing with test scores. We always seem to compare test scores with other countries but maybe other footnotes should be posted, and at what cost is this score higher. In Japan one of the highest testing countries in the world they are also highest in teenage suicide. Several years ago Japan leads the world in group suicide of young people where several at a time all killed themselves in a group. Is there a correlation between high tests scores and suicide? There is a correlation between parents quality time spent with children and happy children. Children that have self esteem and can go forth in the world and accomplish anything. I would say successful children but success means so many different things. My own of being at peace with ones self does not always equate with many whose success is in materialism of the world.
Harry Potter always wins out over evil Lord Voltomot often at the risk of his own life. As I watched the four year olds the other day so carefully touching one of my pet ball pythons, it was interesting eventually they would hold the snake even if ever so carefully. Stevie has been held by many people over the years and is a ball python about 52 inches long and maybe seven or eight pounds. So many children are taught to fear snakes without ever having any hands on contact or understanding and sadly so much of life is given to us this way. You will fear this or that without explanation or understanding and we wonder why we have kids with issues. Maybe one day we all can sit and talk and discuss. It has been a number of years ago that our principal shared a story, one I had seen many years ago and have used in working with teenagers over the years.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the
hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. “A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.” Bizy Garink

On several searches I found the same story with the author unknown but one was copyrighted in 2001 by a children’s story and quote website Bizy Garink. Many years ago working with a senior high group of youth I took an old barn timber and kids would nail in a problem when something was bothering them. Often just getting up as we met and were talking and nailing a nail in some were big nails others mere tacks. When the problem was resolved you pulled it out. The Bizy Garink story ends with this line, “please tell me friend if I have ever left a hole.” So Harry Chapin, Test scores and nailing in a fence all in one morning thought and as I think about kids I know who have problems I wonder how many holes or scars are there with them. Please keep all in harms way on your mind and in your hearts.
namaste
bird