Bird Droppings September 8, 2011
Can we trust really?

“I think we may safely trust a good deal more than we do.” Henry David Thoreau

I was asked why I was successful with the students I work with by a fellow teacher one day. Many of my students over the years are students that no one else seems to trust, I responded because I do trust them. I do not inherently trust but essentially trust till I have a reason to not trust. I will advocate for the student till I am proven wrong and most of the time I can say there is not a problem. There have been a few times that my trust was betrayed by a student but usually that is only once.

“Our distrust is very expensive.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the nearly nine years I have been back in teaching I have had one student I truly did not trust out of my sight. Fortunately he did not stay around long since he lived up to expectations sadly enough as students tend to do. We also get what we expect.

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough.” Frank Crane

When you trust, first the number of deceptions interestingly decreases significantly. It is when you start in to distrust that torment increases, quite a paradox. Most progressive teaching manuals will state that students live up to your expectations.

“The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.” Henry L. Stimson

I wish I had said this and probably have somewhere along the line. We have to trust, without trust it is difficult to even walk out the door in the morning or drive on the road. So much of what we do involves trust to some degree or another.

“We’re all born brave, trusting, and greedy, and most of us remain greedy.” Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

I once used the term universal trust in describing an infant’s trust of the world as I developed a trust scale. (Anyone interested I will email a copy, The Bird Trust Developmental Scale) There is no question for a small child, however sadly they eventually learn to not trust. Watching my granddaughter grow up sort of like Piaget observing I see how trust can be altered as we tend to over look small things kids include as significant parts of their limited world.We adults teach them that as they go through life. It starts as soon as we are to slow to come when crying starts or to slow to respond when hunger comes or fear. We teach distrust in simple terms often so unintentional we never know it and one day the child just doesn’t trust anymore.

“Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.” Booker T. Washington

We then begin anew to learn to trust. It is funny we have to literally learn to not trust to advance in trust, to see the contrast between distrust and trust perhaps or to truly learn what trust is.

“Many people say that government is necessary because some men cannot be trusted to look after themselves, but anarchists say that government is harmful because no men can be trusted to look after anyone else.” Nicolas Walter

In dealing with teenagers and high school students I so often wonder about the concept of anarchy which many adhere to as a perfect political system. Many students wear the symbol of anarchy as a badge of wisdom or of some great knowledge that they possess and adults have no concept of. But isn’t that simply saying I do not trust anyone period and even question myself.

“Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence. Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear.” William E. Gladstone

Trust so often equated in politics yet where we also learn quickly to not rust anyone as well as we listen to out and out lies and spins on various topics of he said she said etc. Thinking in terms of several issues at hand now and recent political elections fear sold more votes than did any political jargon. Most bend truth to meet the needs of the moment whether it is a positive or negative impact.

“Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country – and then declares its self puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.” Charles Krauthammer

It comes back to ourselves and how we conceive of the world and that around us and in us and through us. It is about how we see and understand the world we see. It is about the lenses we use to perceive a world so vast and amazing many times we miss pieces as we look.

“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.” Billy Wilder

I wonder what would happen if we could set up an experiment and place two babies in a sterile cell with no others and see what happens. Would they trust each other as they grew? I was thinking sort of like the Truman Show, with Jim Carrey, and yet he eventually learned not to trust as the show progressed.

“Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.” Alfred Adler

Perhaps I am being too hard on mankind we do and have the capacity to trust deeply and in a universal way. But in history every time someone does trust universally we kill them off out of fear perhaps. I find it most interesting how we respond to these few who universally trust.

“Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly. “ George MacDonald

“Government is an unnecessary evil. Human beings, when accustomed to taking responsibility for their own behavior, can cooperate on a basis of mutual trust and helpfulness.” Fred Woodworth

I was reading and thinking and found this which while referring to marriage is very much how we see trust and related components.

“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.” Paul Sweeney

It is a developmental experience, that which we call trust; we learn both distrust and trust as we go through life. Hopefully we can one day go back to where we started to that universal trust where we trust all and can find no reason for distrust. Hopefully one day but for now please keep all in harm’s way on your mind and in your hearts.
namaste
bird