Kissing a frog on a chilly, wet morning is still hard.



Bird Droppings August 21, 2023
Kissing a frog on a chilly, wet morning is still hard.

It was chilly and wet here in northeast Georgia, with nighttime temperatures hanging in the sixties. We had an inch plus of rain two days ago and several more last night. However, a rumor of a nice week hanging out there and hot again persists. Many gardeners are glad about the rain, although I am not excited about the chill. I was watching TV last night, and a historical show of sorts, a movie about the Pilgrims coming over to the New World, is coming back soon. I find it funny how, after that first Thanksgiving, relationships between the natives and Pilgrims went downhill fast, and it was not long till red-skinned natives were the spawn of Satan and were to be eliminated by whatever means feasible. Pilgrims were not much different than today’s politicians when the land was involved. I found it interesting how things changed so fast. Why do we only have hearts occasionally, and some people never do? Maybe Thanksgiving is to remind us about the heart?

“There are four bases of sympathy: charity, kind speech, doing a good turn, and    treating all ahead alike.” Buddha, Sayings of the Buddha

It has been several years since I was working with students expressing a news article in visual form. Over the past few years, as I interact with people and see how much of an impact learning styles play on students’ actual learning, it amazes me that such a simple thing gets overlooked so often. How we learn has been an issue I have looked at very seriously. Humans learn in one of three ways visually, auditorially, and kinesthetically; in other words, we see, hear, or touch. I also offer the idea that perception and how we hear, see, and touch, along with how we interpret, is a factor. The assignment entailed using one PowerPoint slide to explain one of the current main news articles. The sample I used was based on The Red Lake Shootings from 2006. In about 45 seconds, images and a few words flashed over the screen, and my interpretation of that news story flashed before us.

Students then chose stories and interpreted visually what they saw and felt. Ideas varied, and stories varied significantly. One went in the direction of an issue close to home teen suicide, and several reiterated the Red Lake Shootings. One, however, focused only on himself. His visual experience, while interesting, was a whirl of his image. For several months going on two years, I have known this student, and his focus so often is self-motivated, as so many of us are. He derives his day from seeking attention to and through himself, be it passing gas and letting everyone in the classroom know or speaking out loud to draw attention from a teacher. The idea of disrespect is an understatement, but it all is self-focused, so here I am.

“A relationship or an affinity between people or things in which whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other.” Dictionary.com

For quickness, I used dictionary.com, and the word sympathy is defined as an interaction between two people or things affecting both. As I thought back to my self-centered fellow, I wondered, as he focused all day on himself does he have sympathy? In the defining quote from Buddha, sympathy is established as four aspects: charity, kind speech, doing a good turn, and treating all alike.

“The force of truth that a statement imparts, then, its prominence among the hordes of recorded observations that I may optionally apply to my own life, depends, in addition         to the sense that it is argumentatively defensible, on the sense that someone like me,     and someone I like, whose voice is audible and who is at least notionally in the same room with me, does or can possibly hold it to be compellingly true.” Nicholson Baker

Many issues at hand warrant attention and sympathy today locally and worldwide is often needed.

“All sympathy not consistent with acknowledged virtue is but disguised selfishness.” Samuel Taylor Coleridge

“Sympathetic people often don’t communicate well; they back reflected images which hide their own depths.” George Eliot

As I searched this morning deeper, I found often; we tend to view sympathy with caution; perhaps this person is being sympathetic for a reason. Perhaps it is for gain, thinking back to the Pilgrims. Is it human nature to be so wary and distrustful of others?

“Is there anything more dangerous than sympathetic understanding?” Pablo Picasso

“The capacity to give one’s attention to a sufferer is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is a miracle. Nearly all those who think they have this capacity do not possess it. The warmth of heart, impulsiveness, pity is not enough.” Simone Weil

Several semesters back, I sent off a paper dealing with kissing frogs. It was a reflection on teaching in a way, but it was a reflection on life. My premise is we should all be frog kissers. Teachers and so often parents are to be the Frog Kissers: I have often used the inference to the fairy tales of childhood of kissing a frog. We are always trying to find that enchanted princess or prince hidden beneath the guise of a frog; one kiss and the prince or princess will appear. Being an avid herpetologist, along with my son, kissing frogs can be a risky business. Many species secret toxins, some so lethal they can kill a man with barely a touch, let alone a passionate kiss. Some can induce psychosis and hallucinations when ingested. All these efforts by the amphibians are purely defense mechanisms evolved over millions of years to avoid becoming human beings, perhaps.

But the symbolism of the fairy tale and teachers/parents is what struck me. Teaching is about kissing frogs. We as teachers need to be taking those risks trying to find the hidden princes and princesses among our students. In reality, we go beyond simply taking roll and letting that child slip through the cracks. We need to be risk-takers. We must set an example for the students that we will try to be there and give each child ample time and place. As I pondered, it was obvious where and why teachers quit. I see John Dewey’s ideas and the example of Dewey in the classroom through The Foxfire Approach to Teaching and all these great idealistic thoughts, and then they seem to disappear into educational la la land.

What great teachers seemed to be eventually lost amidst the flow and ebb of educational bureaucracy and never get a chance to be who they are. For many years I have wondered if today’s students and teacher automation are doing as all those others have done before. Turn to page 138, children, and read; now answer the questions at the back of the chapter. Raise your hand when you wish to speak, and do not get out of line. I recall a Harry Chapin song I often use about a little boy who comes in his first day and colors flowers in a rainbow of hues until his teacher corrects him, and flowers are red, green leaves are green, and soon the creative spark is gone, and another student became a frog. Fortunately, in the song, a risk-taking teacher saves the day, kisses the frog, and the rainbow returns. We need to work towards being that which we should be teachers, not simply information stuffers. As a parent and teacher, a hard row to follow.

“There are four bases of sympathy: charity, kind speech, doing a good turn, and treating all alike.” Buddha

I keep thinking back to this idea of sympathy. It is an active process, not simply a feeling. I used loosely the illustration of kissing frogs, but each aspect described by Buddha is an action. Charity is an activity, although borrowing from a 1600 translation, the Greek word agape is translated as charity. In Greek, three words translate for love: Eros, Philos, and Agape. Agape is often translated as a supreme unlimited love or God’s love. In the Biblical translations of 1600, the Greek agape would translate to charity, an active love, an ongoing love. Kind speech is an action and a physical response. Doing a good turn, not just charity but physically doing something and perhaps the most difficult, treating all alike again actively involved.

When I started this morning, sympathy was more of an emotion. Having a heart, as I thought, was just a sentence structure used to elicit sympathy and or other emotions. But sympathy is an active word; it is beyond, and therefore having a heart, perhaps too, is engaging. For nearly six years now, I have ended each Bird Dropping with Keep all in harm’s way in your heart and on your mind; originally, I started with the attack on September 11 and then the war in Afghanistan and Iraq. But it has grown in form; keeping in your heart is an action it involves doing, not simply mouthing words. I recall nearly fifteen years ago in the state of Vermont, which still operates on a town meeting basis, several towns were voting to not send National Guard units from Vermont to the Middle East anymore. Vermont had lost more soldiers per capita than any other state. Action Some are sending card reminders of home. For some, it may be just a thank you as GI’s return. It is about active involvement, kissing frogs, having a heart, voting, and sympathy is action, not just thinking about it. Please keep all in harm’s way on your mind and in your hearts, and always give thanks.

My family and friends, I do not say this lightly,
Mitakuye Oyasin
(We are all related)
bird


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