Bird Droppings July 29, 2025

Checking the toes for mittens

It has been some time since one of my granddaughters came to me to show off her new hat and mittens. It was quite a sight, clad in a t-shirt, diaper, mittens, and ski cap that looked like a penguin she was showing off for us. Finally, she realized crawling was harder in mittens and did her best to get them off. A few months back, we spent a little time cleaning the garage, and my eldest son found an old CD, Harry Chapin’s greatest hits. Jokingly, he said it would end up in my CD changer in the car, and sure enough, it wasn’t twenty minutes till I had an excuse to listen to it. Harry Chapin has been gone for many years now, but the lyrics of his songs live on.

“You can travel ten thousand miles and never leave where you are.” Harry Chapin

I was pondering this as I went to work on my computer today. I went out to sit and think late in the day yesterday, and several Facebook posts later recalled another incident. About fifteen years ago, a tenth grader at the high school was killed in a four-wheeler accident. Driving home last year, I received a note that a student at my last high school had passed away. Perhaps that is what got me thinking back. Fifteen years ago, in a matter of minutes, Facebook was popping with notes of condolence and thoughts for the little girl and family, as well as for another tenth grader severely injured in the accident. In my files is a photo from several years ago of a teenager who died in a car crash right after graduation. She and I had been good friends, with her coming to my room to talk about her problems on many occasions. The night of graduation, she led me around, taking pictures with various friends. Each one specific, and after fifty or so, we parted ways for the festivities. I hugged her after the ceremony and did not see her again till a text while in graduate school in South Georgia caught me by surprise. She had died in a car accident, and the funeral was two days away. Death seems never to take time off.

Walking around my old stomping grounds from eight years ago, so many memories coming back. One day after the last period on a Friday, a student whom I had never really had, walked in, and I asked what was going on. He was complaining about a substitute teacher and how she did not get along with the class. She wanted them in assigned seats and took roll, and wanted quiet. It got me thinking about perception and how a recent observation by an Assistant Principal was so different than several I have had over the years. I do change how I do things quite often, always looking for the best way. As I read through my evaluation from the AP’s observation, I was very happy, and what amused me was how he saw things so differently than did the previous AP who was observing the same situations. One saw twenty-six kids each working on differing assignments, as great, and one saw nonconformity.

I recall while on C hall, I had frequent visits from teachers and staff who had never been in my room; each was amazed and almost in wonderment, sort of wide-eyed as they walked around, and even had one person say they were coming back for an official tour. Somehow, many former students and often their buddies would end up coming by my sanctuary to talk about nothing in particular, just to chill. That was the case on one occasion when a former student from almost fifteen years ago and his friend stopped by to say hello.   

“The ultimate test of a man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.” Gaylord Nelson

As the day ended on that Friday, students cleared the halls. I headed over to chat with some friends. I stopped at several points that I normally do, and a substitute teacher finds me and asks about a particular student who was very disrespectful to her, and by chance, the room where we met is coincidental, as it is that teacher has this student as well, and similar thoughts. He is a very negative student, belligerent and very disrespectful to authority. I think back to how different my observations were from two different people and how different these two saw this student, I see so differently.

“To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakable, perfect miracle.” Walt Whitman

Perhaps a seemingly random thought as I look at this morning so far. I was cleaning up my email inbox, and as I went through various quotes and stories sent from friends and associates, I was copying and pasting them into a Word document. So, this is a random quote simply pulled from the thin air, or for whatever reason not deleted many days ago, or is it a coincidence that each quote and story today is applicable? As I look back at the teacher and substitute teacher, and student, are they looking at life as Whitman suggests? Why is this student reacting the way that he is? My good friend Dr. James Sutton, a psychologist in Texas, addresses many of these types of teacher-student issues in his books. I just had a great idea for Dr. Sutton: he could have for teachers a 900 number for teachers to call for help with difficult students.

But in reality, there is a Mindset with the teacher and student often from day one. Something is there with that student that is blocking or keeping him at a distance. The result is turmoil between the teacher and the student. Every day, I have other teachers come by. Can you do this for me?  I emailed a friend. I need to put a sign out by my room, you need testing, advice, short essays, whatever. Stop in. Then it dawned on me, many of these students will not do anything for some teachers. To fairly evaluate, try and get that essay written in an unbiased place with someone who is not fighting with or in tension with that student. That’s not a bad idea for today. I wish I had thought of it. I need to email that teacher or two or three and commend them.

“Never think that I believe I should set out a “system of teaching” to help people understand the way. Never cherish such a thought. What I proclaim is the truth as I have discovered it and “a system of teaching” has no meaning because the truth can’t be cut up into pieces and arranged in a system.” Diamond Sutra

Not a good rationale for curriculum, but I do think in terms of life and relationships, this very definitely applies. Far too often, we tend to look at life as it is this way, period. If I go over here, it is the same. If I go over here, it is still the same. I remember a teaching job in Macon that I took on substitute. I was expecting little nice 12-year-olds, and when I got there, the average age was 15, and in those days, EBD wasn’t sorted out; they were just all in that class. I survived day one to plan for day two, and all went well. It is so difficult to try and treat everything in education as neat and clean. Trying to understand a student who is different in terms of the “nice”, perfect kids is not going to work. So, what truths do we set down, and what principles can guide us in dealing with a disrespectful kid?

“If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow human being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.” William Penn

Sitting on my desk is a four-inch by four-inch board, one of those art projects, decoupage on a board, with cute burnt edges. Is this quote from William Penn? It was given to me over forty years ago in Macon, Georgia, by a student from that first class of hooligans. We have all heard the saying “Do not complain till you have walked a mile in my shoes. Howard Eubanks, a teacher in North Georgia, emailed me this story almost sixteen years ago.

“Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help, and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, ‘Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.’ She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, ‘These aren’t my boots.’ She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to, and once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner than they got the boots off, he said, ‘They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them.’ Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, ‘Now, where are your mittens?’ He said, ‘I stuffed ’em in the toes of my boots’”

How many times each day with students do we forget to check the toes for mittens? We want everything just so perfect, little darlings, all in rows and little cute name tags and all in cute little outfits and quiet and neat handwriting and so forth. We are trying to pull boots on every day and every class with mittens in the toes.

In a high school and or an elementary class, it is hard to walk in and poof, all is well. It is hard for many teachers to check all the cowboy boots for mittens. When you think there is a problem, try and build fail-safes, have a core group of teachers you can check with. Maybe there is an issue with that kid, maybe his mittens are stuck in there deep. So many teachers would much rather write a referral and teach by referral. If all my students are in In-School Suspension, I will have a great day. I will have to admit that there are students when I see they are out, I cheer, but I do it under my breath and to myself. But I am finding many teachers just do not want that chance, they do not want to look for mittens, they may soil their hands. School custodians will always provide paper towels, I have found, and for the squeamish, use the gloves in your first aid kit. I am being literal in a symbolic thought. Thank goodness it is Friday, although when I woke up I thought it was Thursday, wait, it is still Thursday. Many years ago, a friend sent this email note.

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave to arrive safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand – strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO – What a Ride! ” not sure where or who said this but a slight alteration – “Teaching should NOT be a journey to the end of the day to arrive safely with perfect attendance and all A students all in order and lesson plans in an attractive and well preserved lesson plan book, but rather to skid in sideways, Ideas in one hand – Creativity in the other, energy thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO – What a Day! “

I bumped into another teacher after school on another Friday, and they asked how my day was, and I said, “I had a blast.” I really should have said I think I found about a dozen pairs of mittens. So, I sit pondering day after another, almost over, a great week of remembering so many pieces along the way. Please, my friends, keep all in harm’s way on your mind and in your heart, and always give thanks, namaste.

My family and friends, I do not say this lightly,

Mitakuye Oyasin

(We are all related)

docbird