Bird Droppings December 28, 2025
Forgiving is more than words; it is an action.

“Thou must be emptied of that wherewith thou art full, that thou mayest be filled with that whereof thou art empty.” St. Augustine

As I grow older, I find our window in this reality is getting smaller compared to all that has and will transpire. Why should we put up blinds and window coverings when we only get a glimpse, even when the window is totally open? I recall so many years ago, my grandmother and my mother reminded us not to carry grudges to bed. To forgive before going to sleep so your rest might be easy. We tend to forget this in adulthood. In his writings on Native American thought, Dr. Michael T. Garrett, former Chairman of the Guidance Department at Florida State University, borrows from his elders and ancestors to discuss a similar philosophy.

“In Cherokee teachings, intention is the act itself. That is why harmony and balance are so important in the traditional way. There is no such thing as keeping the mountains and getting rid of the valleys; they are the same, they exist because of one another.” Dr. Michael T. Garrett, Walking on the Wind

I drove along this morning, pondering the sacrament of confession within the Catholic church. I was literally making a list and checking it twice to see how naughty and how nice I have been in my life. So often we did something, sort of the end justifies the means, and argue later that there was no other option. Possibly the option would have been more severe than even the act we now perceive as being naughty. I was thinking maybe after forty-plus years, I should go to confession and unload everything. My twenty-page list in Times New Roman, 12-point might be a bit much. Then my own reality caught up with me, and for most, confession is seeking something beyond our own existence, heaven perhaps, or hell. It has been some time since my humanism and lack of religious focus have left the afterlife somewhere along the way and pressed the focus on the moment, on who we deal with daily, and on our walking about.

“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.” Les Brown

Years ago, as I studied religion, the act of confession impressed me as a psychology major. It is a physical act, and while growing up, theologically opposed to aspects of Confession within the Catholic Church, its psychological implications made sense. When you look at learning, most people need to do what they are learning in order to learn. Most people are tactile active learners. Why not be tactile active forgivers? An interesting concept as I pondered this morning.

“He who forgives ends the quarrel.” African proverb

All my life, I have been raised with the concept of forgiveness, within the religion we were taught and our day-to-day living. Every day in school, I watched young people who had a difficult time moving on, and forgiving may be an understatement. I recall a young man who could not get the class ring he wanted through our former school supplier, Jostens. They would not allow a rebel flag, which violates the school dress code, so he finally went to Walmart to buy his ring.

What amuses me is that this student chose to be in my class, yet he knew where I stand on just such issues. I have watched him not participate in testing because our former school psychologist is not of his racial persuasion. This student would not specifically say that, but he nearly lost his status in Exceptional Education after refusing to be tested for some time.

“This is certain, that a man that studied revenge keeps his wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.” Frances Bacon

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” Paul Boese

It has been nearly twenty years since a fellow teacher showed me a site featuring columns from the late writer Sydney J. Harris. As I was reading today, I recalled an often-used piece from his writings. Gandhi refers to weak people who cannot forgive, and that it takes strong people to do so. Forgiveness is tied to the future, not the past, as Paul Boese states. This passage offers a rationale for why hate is so often found in fringe elements and radical groups. I have borrowed an extensive piece, but this is a significant example and quite meaningful.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

“Love, for example, is difficult to sustain not because it is a positive emotion, but because it is a complex one. Hate is easy to maintain for a lifetime, because it is a simple one…. Hate is a supremely simple emotion that makes it enormously attractive to a certain type of mind and personality. First, hate makes no demand on our mental processes, and doesn’t call on us to expand or change our views…. It rejects understanding, despises tact, condemns patience, and will endure no hurt or disappointment without quick revenge. Besides being the simplest of emotions, hate can also be the most fulfilling for a certain kind of person, because it gives them a sense of meaning in life, something to oppose, to blame, to relieve frustration or failure. Most of all, because of its seductive simplicity, hate seems to remove the need for reasoning (an intolerable burden to many people) and for auxiliary efforts, such as reading, analyzing, estimating, and judging.

Hate has only one function and only one object….Love might be compared to the building of a tall and elaborate sandcastle, taking many hours of painstaking effort, cooperation, balance, and persistence – and hate might be compared to the foot that comes along and with one vicious or thoughtless kick destroys in a moment what has been built up. There is so little love in the world compared with the amount of hate – both expressed and latent – not because it is harder for us to be positive than negative, but because it is harder to combine and coordinate a complex emotion in a creative act than to live unthinkingly by blaming and attacking some “enemy” for our dissatisfactions and disappointments. It takes dedicated genius years to build a great cathedral; any desperado can bomb it to oblivion in a second. Why shouldn’t hate, being so much easier, be so much more popular? “ Strictly Speaking, the personal columns of Sydney J. Harris

Normally, I try not to borrow quite that much from an article or author, but this is powerful stuff. We are living in times when desperados want to blow up cathedrals; themselves and frustrated bullies want to step on sandcastles. I remember years ago, watching from the Naples, Florida, beach after building sandcastles, how some children would go and destroy them when others left. I recall a few days back when a class assignment and a young man who is functionally illiterate came together. We did timelines, which is often a good way to get kids talking about issues that are holding them back. It will often lead to forgiveness.

At first, he stated that he had many things so bad he couldn’t put them down, that he did not want anyone to know, and that with him, anything is possible. But eventually, in his crude way, he did a timeline and avoided divulging anything other than that he was born. So we had point one and went from there. He labeled point two as bad, three through five as good and bad, six as good, seven through eleven as bad, and twelve as good. So I am faced with a timeline with points placed between birth and today, with explanations for the good and the bad.

This is a child who thinks he is so bad and has even said he was the devil’s son on more than one occasion. I recalled him as a small child, and he was actually worse then. I watched one of my other students actually design a logo for her timeline and add art, flowers, and colors. I know her background as well, and it is a little different than the other as far as trauma and events. Both included losing parents, both had arrests and jail time, and both had events that, for most, would be considered horrible. One can’t think about it, and the other has moved on. One is building new castles, and one is still stepping on everyone else’s he can find.

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” William Wadsworth Longfellow

As I journeyed outside a few nights back, there was little light saved for an immense sky filled with stars. The air was chilled and clear, and thousands upon thousands of stars greeted me. As I quickly found constellations and individual stars before my bare feet were frostbitten, it amazed me how insignificant we are. Each of us is a mere speck in the universe as we go about our days. Each of us, however, is still integral to the person beside us and the person in front of us. Often, I use the example of a jigsaw puzzle. As I wandered yesterday and, on one occasion, at a bookstore, I looked through puzzles, each more complex than the last, it reminded me that we, too, are complex. Far too often, the simple answer is only a Band-Aid till more complicated procedures can be fulfilled. So, sitting and pondering where today leads and why, and looking at the news with the politics, as always, of governments and politicians, it is a wonder that anything happens in this world. One day, maybe I will not have to end with please keep those in harm’s way on your mind and in your hearts, namaste.

My family and friends, I do not say this lightly,

Mitakuye Oyasin

(We are all related)

docbird

PS “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi