Am I home?

Bird Droppings June 18, 2005
Am I home?

It is late afternoon and the breeze from an impending quick summer storm has taken the temperature down a few degrees. It is cool now but as the storm dissipates and the warmth of summer will soon over come the welcome chill of the rain and wind. I walked out to my quiet place in a distant corner secluded from much of the surrounding with weeds and brush. I can sit and listen to the trees, birds, insects and life passing by.
As the rains came I walked back to the house to sit and write again some seclusion in my corner in the upstairs loft area. Listening to a 1971 Neil Young CD and pondering numerous issues that confront me. Earlier I went on the back porch with our dog and in the silence of the darkness save for the friendly chirp of crickets and peep of tree frogs echoing through the morning stillness a nearly full moon was attempting to show through the cloud cover. A few stars creep through oak leaves and pine needles and the blips of fireflies produce an eerie effect as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. The all consuming question for the day was I wonder if I am home. It has been a few years since I felt that way.
Having lived in a house I built and raised my children and numerous pets for over twenty years it was a place where my favorite dog passed away and I could sit with no one near if I chose to play music loud. So I wonder today am I home now? Occasionally a car at 4:00 AM can still be heard in front of the house as it was today perhaps someone going to work or coming from play but the stillness of the back yard and silence of the trees makes me think perhaps I am home.
My children are all grown and even now a grand baby sleeps here as well and they are asleep inside and my dog is resting growing bored with me staring into the night and listening to sounds that irritate her ears. Although a low flying firefly catches her eye. So here this afternoon I am sitting down to read and write. A good read for those interested in Indian lore and understandings, “How can one sell the air?” which is a speech by Chief Seattle as it sits by my computer. This was a question he raised where is home? For many it is only a place where we rest, eat our meals and tend to chores of daily life. As I look thorough this simple book it is where our ancestors have been buried and where the pathways are worn by our feet and air been breathed and re-breathed by our children’s children. That is where home is so I continue to wonder am I home? Please keep all in harms way on your mind and in your hearts.

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