Bird Droppings February 9, 2012

Seeking perfection midst near misses

 

I was on my way again to school to do my writing and check on my critters when it dawned on me I forget to take my daily dose of medicinal morning medications. As we get older it seems we need help balancing blood pressure and cholesterol so every day as I get ready to go I take my pills for the day. I forgot and headed home and as I pull into my driveway the sunrise was just getting started so another excuse to get a few more pictures of a brilliant sunrise. I always write about coincidence and synchronicity borrowing from Carl Jung. A sunrise is not a long term event but a brief window only a few moments and easily could be missed unless we make an attempt to truly see it. Today several posted images of the sunrise on Facebook as well I did. I was not driving at the time as some were and deliberately took my pictures sitting waiting for the reds to light up the sky. A moment a brief moment and each I have seen has been meaningful to me. Watching my granddaughter grow up each little aspect now has so much more meaning than watching my own children. I see little things more now than as they grew up.

 

“Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but moments.” Rose Kennedy

 

In a world filled with near misses everyone seems to be always seeking that one big one, that perfect moment. However a downside is that we let the close ones pass by unnoticed. I was thinking as I started this morning of my past life experiences in Loss Control Management, for nearly 25 years I worked in publishing of materials for a Safety and Loss Control Management consulting company. Several times in my father’s career in Safety and Loss Control he did research on accident ratios, such as incidents/moments versus those major losses and or life threatening accidents. As I read Rose Kennedy’s statement his rational hit me, one major loss for every 10,000 incidents.

However as I thought and recalled it was not by looking at major losses you could predict accurately but by looking at the flow of incidents leading to that event. Life is almost as Rose Kennedy states, it is not about that one milestone but it is about the ten thousand moments leading to it.

 

“The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny.” James Allen

 

“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.” Dag Hammarskjöld

 

We need to look as we go in life to see the pieces as they fall in place. While we may not be able to view in its entirety we may not see the frame as Hammarskjöld states but we are definitely a part of all in that is in the picture. In life you will meet people who buy a frame then look for the filling. I may never find the right frame myself for all that it is to contain within.

 

“No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.” Francois Muriac

 

“It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.” Anthony Robbins

 

I am always amused by self-help gurus who can’t take their own advice and or really do not practice what they preach enough said about self-help guru’s. But occasionally I do like words used, ideas and thoughts they use and say. As I look back on my first thought this morning with Rose Kennedy’s quote I wonder what if we paid more attention along the way.

 

“Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but moments.” Rose Kennedy

 

Thinking back to my start this morning I mentioned how my father built his research on looking at the incidents, or you could say the moments in order to predict the major losses and or milestones in a positive view. What if we paid more attention along the way would not predicting that milestones encroachment or timing be more likely and in building for the next. Perhaps sitting in a IEP the other day made me think in this manner and lead me to this point as we often set goals that are milestones in working with exceptional children.  

 

“To meet my goals, I couldn’t let up when I was playing tennis.” Tracy Austin

 

“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” Yogi Berra

 

As I am sitting here I cannot help wondering as I recall comments from that meeting the other day. An IEP committee sets goals for a student, short term and long term goals. In this particular instant I was seeing something others did not. I was looking at moments and not milestones. This young man was missing moments and attaining milestones according to the goals and objectives, the plans of the committee. But all those moments, those pieces that were significant such as friends, associations, social interaction and just being a kid were being overlooked.

Many years ago I recall my father telling the story of a young man he worked with a brilliant young man who at that time had the highest score ever achieved in the entrance exam toAlbrightCollege. In a converse sort of way he also had the lowest score on social interaction. He had literally lived at home all his life going to school and then home. In school it was easy he made straight A’s literally in everything but PE which he refused to do. It is amazing that he could be discussing Einstein’s theory fluently on one hand and not wanting to interact socially on the other. My dad knowing the young man chose to assist him in getting into college by teaching him to fit in. He graduated valedictorian of his class although still exceedingly shy and withdrawn from society. He later focused on research and eventually became a leading researcher for the navy in tactile nuclear submarines married and has a daughter who while more social was also Valedictorian of her senior high class and went on to be an honor graduate from an Ivy League College.

 

“I realized that I am missing something that everybody else has-emotional complexity-and I have replaced it with intellectual complexity. I obtain great satisfaction out of using my intellect. I like to figure things out and solve problems. This really turns me on. When I observe emotional complexity in others, it is sort of a rhythm that goes on between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I often observe this on airplanes. Sometimes I get to sit next to them. It is similar to observing beings from another planet. The relationship is what motivates them; but for me, it is figuring out how to design something, such as figuring out better ways to treat autism. I use my mind to solve problems and invent things. I get a tremendous satisfaction from inventing things and doing innovative research.” Dr. Temple Grandin, in an interview February 1, 1996 by Dr. Stephen Edelson

 

 Dr. Grandin is autistic and interestingly enough a leading international expert in autism and in her other specialty Livestock handling. I highly recommend Dr. Grantin’s books if you have any interest in teaching and working within Exceptional Education. But going back to Rose Kennedy’s thought and why she might have said this. Rose was the parent of a mentally impaired child she saw first-hand issues many parents only read about and many some never consider. Rose also lost three sons long before their time, two to assassin’s bullets and one in World War II.

 

“A child miseducated is a child lost.” John F. Kennedy

 

I was thinking as I started earlier of this lady who outlived her sons Joseph, John and Robert and who raised a child who had severe difficulties in school. Her sons had milestones as a president of the United States and an Attorney General yet as a mother it was the moments that were more significant. But individually by gathering the moments we can introspect reflect and build and even changed our goals, milestones as we learn more and see more.  

 

“The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain.” John F. Kennedy

 

“Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.”  John F. Kennedy

 

Is it was a mother gathering moments, perhaps a teacher designing and writing goals that are realistic and yet challenging with an exceptional student in an IEP, it is seeing pieces rather than the whole, but most of all it is about caring?  

 

“Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy was truly an inspiring woman. What she gave to this country is immeasurable. As a mother she nurtured, stimulated and challenged nine children -among them our 35th President, John F. Kennedy, and two U.S. Senators, Robert F. Kennedy and Edward M. Kennedy… The Tribute to Motherhood Award was presented to Mrs. Kennedy through her son, Senator Edward Kennedy in April, 1990, at her 100th birthday party.” A biography, http://www.wic.org/bio/rkennedy.htm

 

 Life is about moments not milestone’s, let us use the moments to measure life. Pondering a thought and wondering about which direction to go. Please keep all in harm’s way on your minds and in your hearts and remember to always give thanks.

namaste

bird